House is undergoing renovations.
Clouds of dust, pails of paint –
I gasp, run for IPad. Just remembered something …
Tap. Click. Got it!
… something Daughter said eight years ago.
Flashback to …
Several dark months when light in home is dimmed while Mother (me) undergoes treatment for late-detected breast cancer. Pretty much confined to bed. A simple journey to the bathroom and back is long, exhausting. Endless pilgrimages to hospital and clinics. Can’t do much else besides. Completely sapped of strength.
One day Daughter says –
“I guess God allows the pit to get so deep, so we can see how high his ladder can go …”
Words to heal or kill- power of tongue to build up or destroy …
Perspective alters instantly. Pit is deep, very deep – yes – but ladder goes high, so high. Begin to count blessings. Endless list.
People who love and care –
- Husband, Daughters, Family, Friends, Church (Kitchen lies idle. Meals come in unsolicited for seven months straight.
- Maureen, who accompanies me to chemo sessions, sees me safely into house, remains awhile in driveway crying for me before driving away.
- Brother-In-Law, Jonathan, who spends 4 hours a day for a week, driving me to radiation through freezing rain and snow storms, so exhausted husband can have a break..
- Puppy’s unwavering eyes on me. Doesn’t move from my bedside. (Never wanted a dog. Can’t do without him now)
- Top notch medical care. Stellar surgeon and oncologist.
- Knowing that everything happens for a reason.
- Prayer. Someone IS listening.
Etc. Etc. Etc.
Husband wakes up each morning and says, “Good morning gorgeous!”
I cry the first time I hear him. I’m grey, bloated, bald as an egg.
He isn’t joking.
Meet Maria –
I see Maria one morning at the chemo ward. A pretty woman. She begins to cry when the needle is inserted into her vein. My heart aches. In two weeks she’ll be as bald and as I am, with black nails and all the awful trimmings. I don’t want her to suffer as I have.
I place a hand on Maria’s and murmur, “You’ll be all right.”
She says, “How do you do it?”
“You wake up each morning and ask for strength for the day. At night say ‘thank you’ for the grace that took you through. Live one day at a time. Don’t think about tomorrow. It’s too frightening.”
We meet every three weeks at the hospital, talk on the phone. Dark moments. Shared strength.
Maria makes it. So do I. Sisters. There’s something about shared suffering. Eight cancer-free years for us both this year. Oncologist tells me I’m one of her success stories.
How high the ladder goes …
Pink ribbons for breast cancer awareness
Detest the wig. Makes me itch, gets into eyes –
Husband wears it to sixties hippy-themed costume birthday party some weeks back!
That’s my man!
Won’t ever forget that moment when head feels scratchy. Realize hair’s growing back.
What a feeling …
Gorgeous full moon last week.
Playing hide-and-seek over neighbour’s roof …
Roses still blooming in Garden –
Hope is a precious thing. Joy is priceless.
Until next time,
PS: The pictures in this post are all clicks from my IPad and phone. Please share your thoughts and leave a comment. Thank you for dropping in.